The most difficult thing for me in learning to paint is accessing that part of my creativity that's closely linked to play and feeling. It's hard to first feel something before beginning work. Maybe this is why it seems easier to focus on the craft of drawing or applying paint to surface rather than expressively communicating an idea or feeling.

In a telling dream I had last night, I'm in some sort of wizard's school and am seated among my peers in a classroom. A beautiful ghostly figure appears before me and takes my hand, reminding me that she was "the one who kissed me". I remember the kiss -- a sensual lasting moment -- but I think that this must be a test, and so with great sadness, I ask her to leave. I approach the wizard teacher and he tells me that she was indeed real and that this wasn't a test. I have missed my opportunity.

Strange, but somewhere in there is the hopefulness of remembering the kiss and the promise of that return to the senses and passion. It's as though I'm waiting for this to awaken in my pursuit of painting, but I don't know how to trust my muse.